We grow through it.
Parallel-parenting Growth. For the parent who chooses stability in the middle of someone else’s chaos.
I have been parallel-parenting for over a decade. And whether you are starting out on the journey, feel new, lost, like you lost yourself or the old your & your life.... Or you are well into your journey, have learned to carry humor, resilience, support and energy for others.... We got you~
Bona Fide Parent started with the realization; the kids needed just One stable parent, one true parent. One genuine parent.
One the would strive to be the same, wherever we were. No "image" to uphold first, no masks that swap and switch out depending on the audience, no personality-of-hour depending on their mood swings. When you cannot give the kids much financially....realizing you CAN give kids a stable, authentic and unconditionally-loving parent that makes them feel safe and nurtured, THAT ends up being what they need most. Despite chaos, abuse, trauma, and ongoing mistreatment.
a Safe space
Creating safe spaces while parallel-parenting is important. And that is the goal here- To allow authentic parents another resource and area they can go to. Parallel-parenting is often what survivors of abuse need to turn to, as they are subjected to ongoing high-conflict behaviors. Coparenting with your abuser is an unrealistic dynamic. Becuase their abuse doesn't end. Its amplified. Cleverly manipulated. Hostility often weekly, daily or hourly.
resources
Learning what we were subjected to can be confusing. Manipulation. Guilting. Shaming. Emotional, or mental abuse. Projecting. Misleading. Gaslighting. Disovering the words to describe what actions and behaviors are reoccuring helps you help your kids, and the kids learning behaviors, healthy boundaries and asking for help is so important for them. Here many of the finds I've come across over the years will be shared, as well as information and tools and skills, to put in your toolbox, or your kids in theirs~
